Category Archives: Guest Blogs

*Another* Another Faust Contest

And now a word from Daniel Nayeri:

Hi everyone. Dina and I are about to kick off a month-long tour for our book, Another Faust, and we want to do it by announcing a contest! We are looking for the most promising writers out there (that’s YOU). And then we want to showcase their work, so that all of the Internet can bask in their awesome writing might (and, you know, give them prizes).

HERE’S HOW IT GOES.

We want you to write your own short story, re-imagining of the Faustian Bargain. (For inspiration, check out Bedazzled, Simpsons “Tree House of Horrors IV,” and The Little Mermaid). It can be about anything you like (but let’s keep it PG-13, and under 3,000 words), and it’s open to everyone.

All you have to do is send your entry to dviergutz@gmail.com before January 31.

Rules and details can be found here:

http://www.danielanddina.com/site/2009/10/writing-contest-create-another-another-faust/

Make sure to read them so you don’t get DQed

And the winner gets all kinds of sweetness:

A signed copy of Another Faust

A handwritten deleted scene

A featured article & interview on our site

An author’s galley of the sequel Another Pan

Though we’ll feature the top five on our site for comments, the judging WON’T happen by popular vote (so basically, we don’t care which contestant has the most friends). Dina and I will personally read them.

So, spread the word! Tweet, retweet, forward, thread, spread, embed this post.

Good luck!

D&D

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The Misadventures of Patman and the Inevitable Joe! Issue 2

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I hope a shark tries to attack me so dolphins can come to my rescue

It is shark week on the Discovery channel and for whatever reason, no matter how frightened people are of sharks, they can’t help but be drawn into stories about them killing people.

Yesterday I was lounging on my couch waiting to go to work when I saw the craziest story about a shark attack.

Three dudes were surfing. One caught a wave while the other two remained in the shallower end. One was ripped out into deeper water. His friend said the thing was gigantic and looked like a whale so he swam to shore, thinking his friend was dead. The third surfer met up with his friend on shore and watched the attack from afar. He said it looked like there were five sharks attacking, having a feeding frenzy on their friend. The man who originally left his friend out there made eye contact with his friend and realized it wasn’t five sharks. It was a shark and a group of dolphins. The dolphins were circling around his friend and protecting it from the ungodly beast. They’re like the sea police. He swam out and put his friend on his bored as they swam to shore. Some of the dolphins provided assistance and protection while he was taking him back.

This week in the Respect Market dolphin stock rose 57 points.

This story had me saying crazy stuff all day like, “Man I hope a shark tries to attack me so dolphins can come to my rescue.”

dolphinnery

Then it got more extreme to the point of, “I hope they attack one of my friends while I’m lying on the beach talking to some crazy hot babe. I’ll tell her that I’ll be right back and head to the water. The lifeguard will try stopping me saying something crazy like, ‘Don’t be a hero!’ ‘Leave no man behind,’ is what I’d respond with. He tries stopping me one more time, which results in him getting punched in the face. I jump into the water and swim to my bloody friend. I punch the shark in the face and its attention is directed towards me now.

Enter dolphins.

They swim around the shark while I get my friend. I throw him on one of the dolphins back as I ride the other to shore. I look like Aquaman. We make it back to shore where all the humans greet us. I kiss the dolphin on the forehead and tell him thanks. He winks and says, ‘Anytime.’ I walk back to crazy hot babe I mentioned before while stepping over the bleeding lifeguard with a bloody nose. My friends fine too.”

I also envisioned that if a shark attacked me and took my legs and an arm, (because that’s what happens on shark week, people lose their limbs). I’m lying in the hospital. The doctor says, “There isn’t much we can do.”

SharkAttack

“Call the government,” I demand. The government then approves the idea of granting me bionic limbs. They give me legs that run as fast as a train. They look cool, too, they’re not like those skinny legs they give people or the plastic ones. These are hardcore metal. They connect to all my nerves so I have great control over them. The braking system is amazing as well. Plus, I can shatter bones when I kick people.

My bionic arm has super strength. They hook me up with a rotating system of gadgets on it. Once again, it’s connected to my nerves so I have complete control over this. There’s a grappling hook, gun, flamethrower and some other cool accessory I didn’t think of yesterday. There’s a communication system in there and a GPS.

I agree to do missions for the government with this new equipment until the president demands something ridiculous of me.

“I will not kill those innocent people Mr. President!”

My services have been terminated and now the government is after me.

At this point, I fell asleep. There were no cool dreams to follow.

Be safe in the water, most likely none of the above would happen if you’re attacked by a shark.

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Cleburne

My main function in this office is to sit at a computer and write from 9:30-1:00 and then from 2:00-5:30.

“Impossible,” I say.

So when I’m not writing at this computer, I’m usually sleeping or looking around for something else to do. Last week I decided to read one of the books in the office, Cleburne, by Justin Murphy. It’s a graphic novel that discusses one of the Confederate generals from the Civil War. I find History interesting and when I read the back of the book and saw General Patrick Cleburne wanted the slaves to fight for the South in exchange for their freedom, I knew I had to read it.

I’ve always had this vision of all Confederates to be a Neil Young song: full of racists who spit tobacco and torture with bull whips. Justin Murphy does quite the job making a Confederate general a sympathetic hero. I went from not knowing who this man was, to instantly wanting to know everything about him.

Cleburne was an immigrant from Ireland, his unit had their own flag since they did not ride with the Confederate’s cross and stars and he was well liked by the people.

The art gets incredibly violent, which was a plus. It’s not done in a distasteful way either, it’s the Civil War, there was going to be blood. Story wise, I loved it. It is written in such a way that you’re learning something, although parts were fictionalized but you’re entertained at the same time. You get a nice view of Southern life and what it was like to have loved ones away during this war.

This graphic novel has led to the ordering of his biography. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is interested in comics or history. It would be great for a kid who has to do a school report but wants to have fun while doing it. Definitely look Patrick Cleburne up. He’s an American hero that isn’t paid much attention.

cleburne

Buy on Amazon!

Buy on B&N!

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The Imitator

Throughout my life I have imitated those around me.

No matter what the situation, whether it is mocking the way the bus driver says “hello” or the way an old lady walks while pushing her wagon full of groceries. It’s no longer a matter of imitating the speech and actions of the people I see though, now I dress in disguise to aid in the search for a better life.

It’s terribly boring waking up the same person every morning, so I‘ve stopped. Some days I’m an old man fighting a cancer ridden leg. Other days, I’m a suspended detective because I didn’t play the last one by the book. Sometimes I’m the starving artist who can‘t afford decent food due to my passion. Today, I’m Elizabeth.

“Oh no. Not again. You can’t go out dressed like that. I’ll leave you,” her eyes widen.

“I swear to God Johnny, I’ll leave you if you step outside wearing that.”

I watch smoke come out of her mouth with each “no.” She doesn’t bother taking the cigarette out of her mouth as she scrubs the breakfast dishes.  She lets it stay hanging from her lower lip. Haley has been my girlfriend for the past year. I don’t know how she puts up with me, but she does.

“You say the same thing every day- ‘I got to go.’ If you’re gonna leave then leave.”

“This is my house, you moron. I’ll kick you out on the street and then maybe you can actually become Maurice,” she says through lips hugging a cigarette. I watch it burn rather than listen to her speak. I hope it burns her lip; maybe that will finally shut her up.

“I gotta go,” I tell her as if I’m in a hurry.

mask

“Where? Where do you go? You don’t have a job. We live off my first grade teacher salary.

“Yeah, in a private school though, so you make more money than you would if it was public school,” I say to make her angry. It works.

She gives me the face- the one where she lifts her nose and raises her eyebrows. She looks like a bull. A sexy bull.

“None of your ‘friends’,” she uses air quotes, “have jobs. You just go out dressed as a different loser everyday and annoy people on the streets.”

“How does my hair look?” It’s amazing how mad she gets about this. It’s mostly jealousy. She’s convinced with every personality I take on, it’s a new lover I take on as well.

“Johnny…”

“That’s not my name,” she knows that pisses me off.

“Johnny don’t do this. Please don’t go out…”

“Haley, your boyfriend left last night.”

“Fine, Elizabeth if you see my boyfriend tell him he’s a jerk.”

“Oh God Haley, I wish I could stay and talk about this with you, but I got to go. I’ll talk to you later. Feel better,” I say while walking towards the door giving her a kissy face.

“Jerk,” she mutters under her breathe as I exit.

She finally puts out the cigarette.

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The Misadventures of Patman and the Inevitable Joe!

In 2003, two characters hit loose-leaf paper for the first time. One was a flamboyant, over the top loud mouth that was given a magical cane that gave him the ability to fly. The other was a trying to be cool, over the top smart alec that was bit by a wolf, thereby making him invincible.

Together the duo formed the team of Patman and the Inevitable Joe. Pat Stackpole and I created the two to feed our egos and write a story about villains. After five issues we couldn’t take it anymore and reformed to heroes. Throughout the years our world got larger and more peculiar. Our friends would be maddened as we talked about the series. We would sit there saying things like, “Remember when we were trying to push this character,” and our angry friends would say, “Push? Who are you guys pushing ideas to? You’re the only two part of this operation. One comes up with the idea and the other Okays it. Idiots!”

After doing several issues, we would go on hiatus. Months would go by were no process would be made. Then we’d get together and pump out another series. As the years went on, we got more sophisticated. Loose-leaf turned to computer paper. We started coloring some things in. It was no joke. We would just fold paper together and make two page comics. Since then over 70 comics have been made. Six years later, Brittany has given us the opportunity to revamp the series and put it on the internet, which is pretty exciting.

So here, for the first time publicly, we present the first issue of The Misadventures of Patman and the Inevitable Joe! Enjoy. Click to enlarge!

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Dark Horrors: Book Title Poetry #1

Dark horrors.

The master of the world is

Doing Time in

the building opposite of here, writing his

disappearance diary which starts with the words,

Goodbye welfare,

goodbye renting.

Tokyo is my garden.” His

manuscript of ashes sits in the

lost and found next to

Ms. Zephyr’s Notebook while

The walking man passes

A Patch of Dreams on his

Quest for the Missing Girl.

Stolen hearts

United in Hate, travel

from home to home

searching for yesterday and

the people that time forgot.

The walking man passes a

valley of fire, disarming

tiger traps before entering

the time machine traveling to

totem poles and sculpted

ice warriors.

Princess Sultana’s Daughters tell him,

“She loves you,” as he continues

proving God wrong.

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